Lily, "Summon The Blood"I like how you reference the children as “they” until you reveal that “they” refers to children later in the play. I also like the long monologue in the middle. I feel like the director could do something really interesting with that text. I might would suggest that you decide what you think should happen visually during the monologue, and explain that spectacle in your stage directions.Celso, "Dons and Donnas"I loved the overall style that your play is based around. I think the idea of a swanky club with a bandstand and people dressed up in black creates a very interesting mood. Of coarse I loved the idea of your prologue, it is very creative and attention grabbing.Julia, "Whispering"Good job of creating a lot of content within a conversation between two people. The language in the fight is very brutal, but I enjoyed how you kept young Anne fueling Jeffery while portraying her in a completely positive light. I really liked the words you chose to make the husband abusive, very naturalistic. Though the arguing seems one-sided, it displays the two characters.Sara, "No Doppelgängers Here"I like the general idea of your play, but I think you should work on synching the mother’s reaction to what the boy says to the audiences reaction to what he says. To me, the mother believed the unbelievable thing that the boy was saying a lot faster than I as an audience member believed it. When the boy tells his mother that he used to live another life, he needs something more to be able to prove it to her, and to me the mother shouldn’t be the one to rationalize the whole situation.Kat, "Confessions"I thought the way you set up the scene was really effective. “Bless me father for I have sinned. It’s been three weeks since my last confessional.” This phrase sets the stage from the beginning. I also liked that you chose to use bells in the opening of the play, this further emphasizes the fact that they are in a church confessional.
I really liked the overall flow of your piece. I thought that the ending was very good. The ending was very satisfying. I really like the “Such a queer name to give a theatre” It’s kind of a pun. Good job at developing the relationship of the characters by revealing information through their dialogue.
I felt a strong connection to the character of Iowa from the very beginning of the play. I think that the love interest that you created for Iowa is very sincere and sweet and believable. Chemistry builds very nicely in the scene between the two lovers at the beginning and at the end. I loved how quickly the characters where defined. I would work on the ends of the scenes, make sure they don’t seem rushed and that there is a smooth flow from scene to scene.
My own Play, “Richard”
In my ten minute play, the ending that I tried didn’t really come across that well in class. I was pretty disappointed because I did put a lot of thought into making this thing have a satisfying ending. I think adding some stage directions at the beginning to clarify exactly what is happening to Richard makes all of it a lot clearer.
How I meant for it to come across was…. Richard gets a phone call (Audience knows he took a call, but audience doesn’t get to hear it). Isabel gets a phone call about a job for Richard (audience gets to hear it). Richard rushes in to tell Isabel about great news concerning the phone call he just received, but she cuts him off insisting that he listen about the call she just received. Then two men that both want to take Richard in different directions enter. Finally Richard stops the chaos, and announces that he cant accept either man’s offer or do what Isabel wants him to do because of the phone call that he got a the beginning of the play. That phone call was Ford motor company and Richard has been trying to tell Isabel the entire play that he just got the job of his dreams, and that they can quit searching for jobs.