Sir Robert Chiltern Monologue with Pop Culture References

My dear Gertrude, you have placed me high on a pedestal and have not allowed me to be myself, to be human, and to make mistakes. Take a look at the world. Even Brangelina, two of the most beautiful and successful people on the planet are still imperfect in their own ways. And I have found that it is the imperfect who are very much in need of love. Unconditional love. Even if I were to slip up, to cause you so much anxiety and grief, like that yellow lab Marley does to Jennifer Aniston and Owen Wilson in that one movie, you should still love me. As my wife, my lover, and my friend, you should still love me. But you don't anymore. You have taken your own idea of a man have have forced me to fit the mold. Like Miley Cyrus, you were given this beautiful Porsche. Sure, maybe it was used, with a few miles on it, but it was yours. A gift like our love. But what did you do? You traded it in! For a friggin' Toyota Prius! You traded me, who I really am, for an ideal. And now it has cost us our marriage.