Robert Chiltern's Monologue - Run-On Sentences

God, what do you think of me as? Like some god or deity or hero with some clean cut image, an angel with no flaws or common link to other men who do what they want. How can my love for you or your love for me ever be the same when you continuously put me on a high pedestal that never allows me to do anything else but watch my moves and sit on my hidden lies, never allowing me to forget them or be free from them, like I'm a prisoner in my own mind, a prisoner in my heart, a common man who gives love to his wife but has none in return, only respect and honor in her mind's eye, for you now know I am not that man and you know I am not someone who can accept only that. Maybe if you opened your eyes just by a little you will still see the man you fell in love with, but you will never open your eyes the slightest because you will ultimately think I'm a fake and a hypocrite, a person not worthy of his noble stance and power, a man who is absolutely dishonest and washed cleaned of his responsibility, which he may never get once again when this story of lies and scheming flies out into the open, and I know you would would not love me anymore if you thought I were no longer chilarous or noble or honest or moral, but you must know however young and corrupt I was in the past, I am no longer that now, and you must take me as I am, flaws and all, but because I know a woman's love is disproportionately smaller for a man, than it is a man for a woman, you would die before allowing one single mistake infiltrate my soul!