Lights up on Vince chugging/emptying beers. Knock on door.
VINCE: John! Long time no see! I’m excited to see your film.
JOHN: Hi Vince! Thanks! Where's Leah?
VINCE: We broke up. She thinks I'm a dick with unresolved violent issues.
JOHN: Well you do need to grow up a bit.
VINCE: You wanna get high? (JOHN gives VINCE "a look." VINCE pulls out weed and papers, rolls a joint. He also produces some coke. He smokes in silence)
VINCE: Amy Randall is in town.
JOHN: Every time you get high we fight about Amy Randall. Look, I'm sorry we had sex after you all broke up.
VINCE: You raped her!
JOHN: This is ridiculous. I'm leaving.
VINCE: You're not going anywhere until you admit it! Rapist!
JOHN: Alright, I pinned her arms down and stuck my dick in. (VINCE walks over to his bag and produces the tape)
JOHN: You asshole! You're not going to show that to anyone.
VINCE: I might. I might not. (The phone rings) Oh! (On the phone) Hi Amy...yes...we still on...can you pick me up?...see you soon. She'll be here in five minutes. (After doing a line of coke) Feel free to leave while you still can.
JOHN: Not without that tape! (They fight. There's a knock at the door)
VINCE: (answering it) Hi Amy! Look who showed up. It's our old pal.
JOHN: This is ridiculous; I'm getting out of here.
VINCE: (Holding up the tape) It’s your call John. (JOHN exits)
AMY: What was that about?
VINCE: I got him to admit to me that he raped you.
AMY: What?! You're ridiculous. I'm leaving. (Goes to the door) And he didn't rape me. (Knock at the door. AMY answers. Its JOHN)
JOHN: I came back to say I'm sorry. For doing what I did.
AMY: And what is it you think you did.
JOHN: I raped you.
AMY: No you didn't.
VINCE: I'm confused.
JOHN: I'm confused.
AMY: This is so childish. (Amy dials 911) Hi, this ADA Amy Randall. Send an officer to the Motel 6. There are substantial illegal substances and a man who has just confessed to rape. Thank you. (Hangs up) You've got four minutes.
VINCE: Fuck! Lets go, man!
JOHN: No. I'm staying. It's the right thing to do.
VINCE: Suit yourself. (Goes to the door. Rethinks) Fuck! (Flushes away the drugs, destroys the tape. Silence)
AMY: I didn't really call the cops.
VINCE: You bitch!
AMY: Goodbye boys. It was nice to...
She exits without completing her line. JOHN is left standing, vacant. VINCE is on the floor, defeated. They look at each other. Silence.
HAMLET in One Page
BERNARDO: (enters w/HORATIO) There is an apparition you must see!
HORATIO: I don’t believe in ghosts! (Ghost of KING HAMLET appears) Ah! The ghost of the dead King Hamlet. This must be a warning. We must tell the Prince. (Court Enters)
CLAUDIUS: In my brother’s death, I have married his widow, Gertrude. Let us celebrate!
LAERTES: I wish to return to France.
HAMLET: I’m more depressed than my black clothes.
CLAUDIUS: Don’t be such a baby. I am thy father now; when I die thou shalt be king!
GERTRUDE: Hamlet, I wish thee closer to home; closer to me.
HAMLET: (reluctantly) Fine… (All but HAMLET exit in festive banter) Life sucks.
HORATIO: We have seen your father’s ghost. You must come with us. (All exit)
LAERTES: (Enters with OPHELIA & POLONIUS) You cannot love Hamlet! I am off to France!
OPHELIA: But I love him!
POLONIUS: Son, be good in France. Daughter, you cannot love Hamlet.
OPHELIA: Fine… (All exit. HAMLET and HORATIO enter; GHOST appears)
GHOST: Twas an evil murder that rid me. Avenge me. Kill thy uncle. Swear!
HAMLET: I will father! I swear!
OPHELIA: (enters with POLONIUS; aside) Hamlet is mad!
POLONIUS: It must be love sickness. I shall tell the King at once!
HAMLET: I am not mad! Only sometimes. And often sad. (aside) I will put on a play to catch the King in his own guilt. Horatio, thy keen eye is needed. (Enter CLAUDIUS) If only suicide were easy, because life is hard and if I could choose…
OPHELIA: Hamlet, let me return the love thou have shown me.
HAMLET: I never loved you! And yet I do. And don’t. But do. Yet won’t. Ah! (exits)
CLAUDIUS: Clearly the boy is disturbed by more than matters of love.
HAMLET: (returning with PLAYERS) The play is to begin.(PLAYERS act; others watch)
CLAUDIUS: Poison in the ear! Ah! (runs away; ALL but HAMLET/HORATIO follow)
HORATIO: Tis clear his guilt is too much for him to bear.
HAMLET: I shall tell my mother and show her the errors of her ways. (THEY exit)
CLAUDIUS: (alone, prayer) Oh what have I done? My words repent, but my soul moves on. HAMLET: (enters with GERTRUDE; POLONIUS spies) Mom, a whore thou hast been!
GERTRUDE: What? No! I do not understand. Somebody help!
HAMLET: Who hides there? (stabs POLONIUS) Oh no! I must go, but believe me, I am not mad! I have seen my father’s ghost. He told me he was murdered by thy new husband!
CLAUDIUS: What have thou done? You must leave for England at once. Guildenstern, Rosencrantz, ensure his voyage. (ALL exit) Tis sad to think that though he ships to England, he marches to his doom. (Loud noise is heard) What was that?
LAERTES: (enters; rage) My father is dead and thyne sister mad. I will have vengeance!
CLAUDIUS: Listen boy. Thy revenge shall be swift, but on those that bear the blame. Listen to me: Hamlet will return in the morrow; thy right is in thy sword.
LAERTES: A sharpened sword, a poisonous blade, will in duel a lethal weapon make.
CLAUDIUS: And if the first blow be his, a poisoned wine will be his prize.
GERTRUDE: (frantically running in) Thy sister has ended her grief in eternal waters.
HAMLET: (enters, hearing the last line) Ophelia is dead?
LAERTES: Hamlet arrives, in time to see the sum of the misery he has brought upon my house. A duel!
HAMLET: It is in your right. But I offer my forgiveness; twas not I but madness that took your father. (They fight; HAMLET gets the first hit wins the first two bouts)
GERTRUDE: I shall toast to my son’s victory! (drinks) Hamlet! Tis poison! (dies)
HAMLET: Mother! (distracted, LAERTES manages to strike) You bastard! (takes sword from LAERTES and strikes him down)
LAERTES: Twas the King that poisoned thy mother and this blade. We both shall die.
HAMLET: (charges at King) AH! (falls to floor b/c of poison) Horatio…tell my story…(ALL DIE)