Mini (in-class) Playwriting Festival

 I was about to post my thoughts on the shows I saw when I realized I hadn't posted my comments on the plays read in our last class, sorry it took so long.  

Berkhard's To the Core: 

I remember thinking this when I originally heard the play, and I thought it again the second time around, that the play feels a bit like a short screenplay to me.  I liked how you added more conflict in the end scene with De Duda and the troops, and I think you could expand on that tension more.  Also, at the end of scene 1, Busqueda has a short speech that is all exposition, and I think that her line about the oppressive government could be cut, because you spent the whole first scene establishing that.

Zora's House: 

I like how there is more intimacy between the couple at the top of the show.  I also really loved the name change of the waitress from "Happy Waitress" to "Same Waitress, Only Not So Happy."  This little hint affected the way Kat read that part, which I thought was a clever trick.  I thought the ending on the train car was super cute, too.

Joshua's Amelia:  

Nice opening vignette, the man looking in the mirror and all the little bits really set the mood of the scene.  The setting is interesting, it's set in the past while the characters talk in the present tense.  Spooky.  The relationship of the characters seems to be a sort of  love-hate relationship, which was compelling.  The characters were also multi-dimensional and not easy to pigeon hold right away.  I liked the involvement of the band and later the cabaret dancers.

Andy's The Elevator:  

I enjoyed reading the part of Melanie much more the second time around.  The dialogue gave me more to work with and seemed more natural.  I think the plot is more interesting now and the ending is much more dramatic and suspenseful.

Bryan:  

I liked the topic of the play, politics of gas in the U.S., it's something almost everyone can get worked up about.  I think Nolly said the term "forum on alternate energy" too many times.  I also think there is some more conflict you can throw at this couple.  I thought it might shake things up  if the gas company representative(s), posing as potential investor(s), tried to intervene and stop him from releasing this invention that would kill their business.  

Autumn's I Shot My Future Boyfriend:

I'm a fan of comedic murder mysteries.  The scenario with the gun in the package and the paranoid girls who have to deal with it is a good one.  I liked the line: "Creeper- a creepy individual."  I also liked when Michael pointed out that all of the girls' sayings were horribly dated.  The ending was great, a happy ending with a gunshot victim is always good for me.  I love that you decided to really shoot him!

Michael's A Long Disappearance:

 I like this play and the concept.  I think you could play around with beginning at a different point in the story, like when John first starts to wonder about Dave missing before anyone else gets there .  Then you would have somewhere to build from with John's frustration, and he could really delve into full blown paranoia when they start to deny Dave's existence.  I thought it was cool that you clarified some things about John's life in the last scene to really emphasize the impact of the opening scene.